If you’ve been fantasizing about swinging and just don’t know how to get started, we’re here to come to the rescue. After reading our tips for beginners you’ll see that adopting the swinging lifestyle is much easier than you might have thought.
1. Consider Your Reasons
When couples first start talking about swinging together, it’s important that they discuss their reasons for adopting this new lifestyle. There can be healthy reasons such as wanting to spice up their intimate life, and there can be unhealthy reasons such as one partner simply wanting to appease another. If you’re looking at swinging as a way to fix a broken relationship, you might be disappointed. The swingers lifestyle is generally for strong, healthy couples looking for a little adventure. If this doesn’t sound like you, you might want to reconsider.
2. Talk about Expectations
There are many options in the world of swinging; swinger parties and swingers clubs, swinging with other couples or people of the same sex. Chances are you and your partner have a few fantasies you’d like to play out together.
3. Set Some Ground Rules
An important step for beginners is to set some ground rules up front. For example, if you are both at a swinging party or club and one of you wants to leave early, is it okay for the other person to stay behind? Should you always be in the same room together? Are you comfortable watching your partner be with someone of the same sex? No doubt you probably have some preferences and expectations – make sure you talk about this up front.
4. Create a Persona
Most swingers like to keep this part of their lives private and so they create personas to be used online and at parties and clubs. Lots of swinging couples make up fake names and this is perfectly acceptable in the swinging world.
5. Meet Online
One of the best places to find other swingers to hook up with is online. The Internet is filled with adult dating sites where you can meet couples and individuals willing to meet or come to your home. You and your partner simply create a catchy profile with photos and then start searching through member profiles. Strike up a dialogue with people you are interested in and make a plan to meet up.
6. Consider your Options
Once you find couples or individuals you’re attracted to, set up a time to talk on the phone and then meet in person. It’s probably a good idea to meet for just drinks the first time so you have the chance to check each other out and set up a second meeting. If you don’t feel a connection, just be honest and move on.
7. Check out Swinging Clubs
There are probably quite a few more swingers clubs in your area than you were aware of. A quick online search will let you know where they are and how to participate. You can also ask other swingers you meet online on adult dating sites. Before you go, find out if the club is open to everyone or couples only. Also, find out if they have special theme nights.
8. Try Out a Swingers Party
If you are invited to a swingers party, here are a couple of things to keep in mind:
- Arrive on time
- Smell and look good
- Don’t be pushy or unfriendly
- Practice safe sex
9. Respect People’s Privacy
When you meet another swinging couple or individual, respect their right to privacy by not asking too many questions. Unless you’ve been given advanced permission, don’t take any photos or video. Don’t take it personally if they don’t want to see you again. Many swingers want to stay as anonymous as possible.
10. Have Fun
The swingers lifestyle should be fun and exciting. If you’re finding that it is causing tension or drama in your relationship, just stop. This alternative lifestyle is not for everyone and should only be pursued by couples who are truly enjoying themselves.
Aelicia Anderson has been a member of the adult dating fraternity since 1997. She now writes a weekly dating advice column for FlingFinder.com.au
- The Swinger Manual
- Recreational Sex : An Insider’s Guide to the Swinging Lifestyle
- Opening Up: A Guide to Creating and Sustaining Open Relationships
- Swingers: Female Confidential
- Getting Your Wife or Girlfriend To Become A Swinger
- Swinging: Shared Pleasures Between the Covers
- A Private Diary: Our First Year in Swinging
- Swingers: The Swingers’ Rules and a Screenplay